Patchwork – Movie Review

Patchwork, directed by Tyler MacIntyre is  a combination of black humor and horror crafted into 1h26m of entertainment. It is the perfect time killer for those that can appreciate a crude sense of humor, irony and a bit of gore.

Three women discover they’ve been murdered, dismembered and sewn back together. Once the initial shock wears off, the three women, respectively Jennifer (Tory Stolper),  Ellie (Tracey Fair) and Madeleine (Maria Blasucci) share the same body and must work together to figure out who did this to them and enact revenge.

The concept of the movie is interesting enough but Patchwork never aspires to be a stellar production or having an intricate plot and even the title is a dead giveaway. The story is rather fast-paced and straight forward, focusing not on the women’s personal agony of being stitched together but rather—their rage as they go on a bloody rampage. Each of these women is responsible for controlling a specific body part. Ellie can move a foot, Madeline a hand and Jennifer most of the body—and there’s a perfectly good reason for this strange arrangement. At first, we are led to believe the three are a byproduct of a psychopath’s fantasy— as the three women find themselves in some type of hospital like facility. The antagonist is not revealed to us until the very end and by then we have a very not so subtle hint of what has really happened.

Each of these women, like the body parts they controlled, played a very specific role. They were ‘chosen’ and were easy prey due to their own personal flaws.

The Cat Brings a Gift

I want to say it was a roach but it was legless, limp and with a vacant yet accusing glare.

A glare that screamed… How could you have let me die in this terrible agony?!

How indeed! But the truth remains that I was snuggled up in my blankets while the carnage was happening downstairs. 

I heard the click clack of rapidly moving feline toes but thought nothing of it. 

I’m sure the snake, lizard and cricket all feel the same way about their common enemy: The Cat : as they have all suffered such fate.

I’m partly to blame I’m sure. No scolding or shouts, but plenty of love to go around! 

If I were honest the guilt does trip me at times, some disgust in the mix but deep in my heart I know fluffy can do no wrong 🙂


Monster Behind Portrait

She speaks behind an old portrait, situated on a bathroom at the end of the hallway, murmuring about her death. 

Where the portrait resides, there is a rectangular door and her bare feet can sometimes be seen as she is always standing.

A war broke out along time ago and the residents of the house suffered cruelties. Their last days were spent behind portraits. 

The rectangular nook, crude and out of place served to feed them. When the invaders abandoned the abode, or perished under the curse of the terrible storm, the residents died, having no one to feed them.

The woman who suffered the most was of abnormal height, and the portrait was based at a particular inhumane location, the bathroom. 

This portrait was not like others, it had a plaque with the woman’s name engraved in it. She sounds the loudest of the four. 

The house, though beautiful at one point is cursed, and unless you make a deal with the residents, the same brutal incident repeats itself when a great storm falls.

The ghost? Monster of the woman is not easily appeased. In death, insane and blood thirsty, you may talk but do not put yourself where she can grab you. 

Her portrait hangs above an old sink, inevitable it is to see her. A frightening but pitiful monster, delirious for freedom and revenge. 

If you make the deal, she will save you  from intruders, robbers, and murderers… But then you will be at her mercy.

— Monster behind the portrait, Catloverr’s Journal of Nightmares and Monsters.



Tender is the arachnid that crawls up your spine,

injects you with venom and leaves you

Gasping for life.

And sweet retribution once the gigantic vermin is scorched to a crisp.

Paralyzed no more,

you are free.

This was based on a nightmare that went pretty much the same way as the poem.